What makes us compare ourselves to others? The feeling of not being as good as another person is one of the most damaging factors to self improvement.
This one being the most common in society, it affects every age group. The moment you notice your beloved child doesn’t like to wear a dress because she doesn’t look as good as their neighbour, its heart breaking. But where do they get these conclusions? Could be they are taunted in school about a certain part of their body, ‘your forehead is too large, your too short, too tall no lips and the list goes on.
How does this start so early? Society. The reason you start seeing inadequacies in yourself is because someone else started comparing you first. When others feel the need to express their opinions about what is normal and acceptable and you do not fit in their description, that becomes damaging and suddenly you see yourself as flawed when you compare yourself to everybody else. Cutting out toxic people from your circle is very important to your self improvement. It could be a friend or even a relative! Keep in mind that spaces like Social media can be toxic too so make sure to keep that in check. Seek for people who value and encourage you.
We all start from somewhere in life and some are fortunate than others. Nobody gets to choose where they start their life, which families they are born into and what kind of environment will influence them in their childhood. Yet these factors play a huge role in where you end up in the future. What disciplines will be instilled to you? Which schools will you attend?
In these cases, The best way to stop comparing yourself to others is to realize that you might not have had the same opportunities growing up as your more seemingly successful peers. Once you determine that then follow the following steps
Step 1- Articulate your goals. What do you want in life that will make you feel better? Could be that you’re wanting to move to a better neighbourhood. Self improvement is a marathon not a sprint.
Step 2- Who do you need to become to achieve your goal? Well could be that you need to have a better income in order to afford living in your preferred area.
Step 3- Start from where you are. We all have things that we need to work on. This is when you realise that you have to put in a lot of effort. Get a job and make sure that you give it your all. Be the best at whatever you do in life even if you’re doing something as simple as dishwashing in a restaurant or if you’re a teacher. Be the best at what your doing
It’s important to note that comparison is part of our lives. It’s how we make sense of the world and what’s going on around us and it also helps us get ideas and became competitive on how to make improvements in our lives. Comparison is bad when it becomes toxic. when others are discouraging and make you feel you do not fit in. This book Mastering your emotions is a step by step guide as to how you can make improvents in your life by knowing how to master your feelings